It was first released in 2003 but there have been around two reissues or something like that each one with two additional songs bringing the total altogether around 13 songs including the intro but I'm only writing about 8 leaving out the intro which holds no significants and the four total bonus songs from the special edition and reissue.
The thing about this EP is that it is strickly a "smokers" record because the whole thing is about weed. The original special edition CD came with a special tin and rolling papers for weed. So with that in mind here is my review of "Wizard of the Hood"
Track 2- Let It Rain
This is where our story starts and we meet our first protagonist Violent J. Violent J is a crack dealer living in a run down near abandoned house in Detroit Michigan. He's driving home in his tricked out car when it starts to rain, so he hits the switch to put the top up but otherwise ignores the weather. He gets home and the weather has escalated to a full blown hurricane but it makes no difference to J or his clientele (being crack heads all they care about is their fix) so J is just hanging out around his house smoking weed and playing mega man 4 from 1993. He's watching crack heads trying to get to his door unsuccessfully as they are thrown all around by the wind being only 90 pounds due to their drug abuse. The house is taking a beating from the weather, tornado sirens are blaring, and J has noticed an unusual sound, so he opens the door to see a tornado but shuts the door because he doesn't care so long as it stays outside. Suddenly the whole house is ripped off the ground by the tornado and is flying around with all sorts of other crazy shit. His game is somehow all good chilling on pause but everything else is being tossed and ruined including himself and the "rocks" in his shoes. He looks out the window and sees
the crack heads waiving at him flying around still trying to buy from him he also sees mailboxes, a pizza man, some garbage cans, and then he saw a naked woman that made him stop all together like "damn". Before long all of it was gone and his house crashed to the ground.
Track 3- Yellow Brick Alleyway
J's house crashed to the ground and he has no idea where he's at. So before venturing out he grabs the necessary supplies, some weed and wrapping papers. He heads out and immediately starts freaking out at the sight of all the random colorful things foreign to our world and especially Detroit. He notices some little people hiding from him and walks up nonchalantly asking "what's up", out of nowhere a party breaks out. They all thank him for crushing the wicked witch with his house, he looks over and sees her legs sticking out then begins to play it off like it was intentional but it was no big deal. He asks how he can get home and they tell him about someone called the wizard that can get him anything he needs. They tell him to follow the yellow brick road to find the wizard at his palace and J is quickly on his way sparking a blunt to smoke while he walks. I love the fact all the munchins are just J with a high pitched and the munchins hilarious way of telling J what he needs to do
"Take ya ass down the yellow brink road motherfucker
Take ya ass down the yellow brink alleway"
repeated until the music fades into the beat of the next song and its J singing it to himself
"Take my ass down the yellow brick alleyway
(I'm going home)
They say, Take my ass down the yellow bricks"
Track 4- Homies 2 Smoke With
This song is my favorite. In this song we meet the scarecrow who is played by Monoxide from Twiztid. J is walking down the yellow brick road to the wizard taking everything in and accepting the fact that this is real. He's carrying on smoking a vanilla blunt when out of nowhere he here's a voice "yo homie let me get a hit of that blunt". He looks around and sees that a scarecrow is the one that asked for a hit. J tells him that all he doesn't really have any good weed but the wizard has the best stuff around and that's where he's heading right now. The scarecrow asks if he can tag along and J happily allows him. J helps him off his post but crow falls and rips off, crow quickly assures him its all good
"I helped set his ass free
He slipped off
Then his fuckin leg ripped off
And He was like
"Don't mind that shit dawg, It ain't nothing at all"
"Just a little bit of stuffin that straw" "
After a quick inquiry by J the pair are happily off on their way to the wizard
"Hey Paul, I mean scarecrow, yo
"Don't ask if i ever tried smokin myself, no"
I only thought what the hey, ok
Anyway, lets get you some real shit
Down the yellow brick alley way"
The hey Paul is kind of a joke because Monoxide who plays the scarecrow his real name is Paul. My favorite part of the song is the chorus which is sung primarily by Monoxide
"I dont need a brain
Don't need anything
I just want somebody to smoke with
(who said that? x 2)
Stuck up on this thing
With no fucking gains
I just want somebody to smoke with
(who said that?)
Well i said that"
I don't need a brain is a reference to what the scarecrow from the wizard of oz wanted from the wizard that being a brain.
Track 5- Thug Whillin'
In this song we meet the tin man played by Jamie Madrox of Twiztid. J and crow are walking along talking and smoking when suddenly a metal man jumps out to rob them. He demands that they not look back at him and that he wants whatever they've got including the weed the two of them are smoking. He claims he'll shoot them and they try to reason with him saying that they don't have anything for him to steal but the wizard has plenty. Being that neither of them have anything to live for they turn around and see that he doesn't really have a gun. They get kinda pissed but the tin man asks if they think the wizard has a gun for him and asks if he can come with them. J asks "what you think scarecrow", "we got the same paint on so that's cool", "but we all should remember the rule" it cuts to the chorus and continues til it fades into the next song with the three of them talking about how they don't like the dark woods the road is taking them through.
Track 6- Horribly Horrifying
In this song we meet the last addition to our group the lion played by Blaze Ya Dead Homie. The three men are walking through a dark scary forest on their way to the wizard and J is getting super paranoid every little sound is getting him worked up to a point the two other men are getting annoyed. Suddenly the lion jumps out and J is shitting bricks
"Save it for your bedroom mirror, scream in fear
You was right, be scared, bitch, the lion is here
Once I heard that, I knew that's all it would take
I started screaming like a cheerleader about to get raped
A big ass lion jumped out, like he was ready to fight
At least it's three against one,
But I'm the only one in sight
My two homies was gone, lost deep in the night
I pulled the blunt out looked at the lion, said,
"you gotta light?" "
It cuts to the chorus then its back to J's and the lions conversation where we find out what the lion wants.
"Hear the roar of the king of the jungle
It's me, not Tarzan, so go, I'm the lion,
You stepping on my turf
And one of y'all dying tonight that's for sure,
"that's for sure?"
You think it's your lucky day, you think I'm hear to play,
You saw the do not enter sign you had to cross it anyway
Reconsider killing you; don't even make me laugh
You stumbled in my kingdom; the next breath's your last
Mister, mister death and destruction
May I ask you a question you got everything
Why you fucking with something with nothing
We ain't even from around here we just passing through
You come crashing through; I'm only asking you...
Truth is I'm bored, everybody scared of me,
I smelled y'all over
Here puffing the lovely, and fuck that blunt, facts,
I'm just gonna ask
Do any y'all motherfuckers no where the hoes at?
Maybe on the southwest side, I know a few
But straight up I know them hoes ain't trying' to fuck you
How 'bout I swipe your head off?
How about you relax
I'm only saying these hoes don't fuck half lions like that
But I know this one player, this pimp right here in town
He's got mad furry bitches
That be swinging they tails round
His name is the Wizard, fact that's were we headed
Don't mind if I do tag along, fuckin give me some neden
" So it turns out that the lion is such a badass that everyone around is scared of him and things have gotten boring because of such. In the long run all he wants is a girlie or in simpler terms he wants some neden which is a juggalo word meaning pussy.
So now we have the group all together each man with his own desire J wants to go home, the scarecrow wants some homies to smoke with, the tin man wants a gun, and the lion wants a girl.
Track 7- What U Think in' About?
In this song the group has made it out of the forest and are now in a giant mushroom field. They decide to eat some of the mushrooms just because and start to randomly ask what everyone else is thinking about as the mushrooms kick in and got them feeling alright. They are thinking about all sorts of things like boobs, women, food, weed, cars, and at one point J mentions Blazes new album wondering when it will drop (it was released the following year) from the lines about Blaze sprawled a big joke surrounding Blaze
"Now what you thinkin' about?
(Violent J)
Blaze Ya Dead Homie (Who ya dead who?)
Who ya dead who?
Where I'm from that's cool
Anyway, I'm just wondering when his Colton shit droppin'?
I'm tryin' to get my gold six hoping
What you thinking about?"
Who ya dead who is a huge joke when it comes to Blaze because of this line but its all in good fun.
Track 8- Shiny Diamonds
At the end of What U Thinkin' About? they start talking and it carries over into the very beginning of Shiny Diamonds.
"(Violent J)
There it is ya'll
We made it
You ready to go in?
(Scarecrow)
First tell us, why do you wanna go home anyway?
(Tin Man)
Yeah, why don't you just stay with us
In this fantasy ass fantasy land?
(The Lion)
I mean what do you got going on there that's so good?
(Violent J)
Man, it ain't always all good at home but the few days it is makes it all worth while."
The song is about how things aren't always great were he's from but the few things that aren't shitty make it all worth it and that's why he wants to go home because its where he belongs regardless.
Track 9- The Wizard's Palace
This is the final song in the story when they finally make it to the wizards palace and its just this wonderful place with free weed and booze and everybodies having a good time. J smells some amazing weed and starts finding his way to it but they are stopped by a guard. The guard is a quick cameo by ABK (Anybody Killa) he gets annoyed and tells them which way to walk and just go away. They bust into the wizards room and he is quick to get angry by their intrusion and who else could be the wizard but Shaggy 2 Door then other half of Insane Clown Posse.
"(Violent J)
At the Wizard's gates we all knocked
And we walked all in
Let the party begin, balling
(The Wizard)
Who dare come here to meet the big W?
You're crazy, your boys are in trouble too
I be the one like Big Daddy Wizard Kingpin
Tell me what the..(voice turns normal)
Fuck you thinking?
I blink and I set your, faces on fire
Damnit, must be a faulty wire
Well fuck, my voice thing run out again
But you're still in terrible danger my friend
(Violent J)
Tin Man ran and dismanned the curtain
It was just some fool in a Fuck Off shirt
And it was salt in the game, we maintained the same
(The Wizard)
Hi, Shaggy, Stretch Nuts be the real name,
or the Wizard if you want
But it's all a front
I been here 9 years, 8 days, and a month
So I started this hussle, now it's getting me paid
I got to admit I get laid with my own parade
But a player like me knows what you want
A player like me holds the magic blunt
The magic blunt?
(The Wizard)
The magic blunt
I been saving it up, what, what
All for a you fools are getting what you want
Cause a player like me holds the magic blunt
The magic blunt?
(The Wizard)
The magic blunt
I'm lighting it up, now what, what
Mr. Lion "Yeah",
you indeed of a hoe then blow, "What up dawg?"
She's yours, or any other bitch you step to,
don't let no rep go and intercept you
Tin Man, it's your turn to hit the ganj
"Nothing I don't understand"
Your wish is for iron when you made out of steel
But you already the hardest for real
"Thanks"
Scarecrow, my man, hit the dro
"Some homies 2 smoke with me?"
I know
"I'm puffing but I ain't seeing nothing"
What about the homies that's with ya,
you saying they frontin?
"But I love Tin Tizzy, The Lion, and J though"
And they down with you for life, too
"Oh"
And Violent J
"Hey"
Now it's your turn to burn
Just hit that shit and the page we turn
Just hit that shit and the page we turn
Just hit that shit and the page we turn
Just hit that shit and the page we turn
Just hit that shit and the page we turn
(Talking & Coughing)
(Violent J)
And that was it
Next thing I knew I woke up in my very own bed
Chillin'
And that's, that's how it exactly how it went down
Hope you liked it"
So the wizard is revealed as just some guy in a "fuck off" shirt who then gives them what they want by having them all take a hit from the magic blunt. Scarecrow takes a hit but nothing happens because he already has homies to smoke with tin man the lion and J. Tin man hits the blunt and nothing happens because his wish is for iron when he is made out of steel but he's already the hardest for real. The lion hits the blunt and a lion girl appears that is all his in addition to any other girl he approaches from now on. Finally J hits the blunt and starts to fade away he says his goodbyes and they all express their having loved having him around and how he's always welcome back. J then walks up in his bed like nothing happened.
Alright I'm done here
-(insert fake alias here)
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